Parents and children should do this
Parents and children should do this
Parents are children's first teachers, their words and deeds will have a huge impact on children, the relationship between parents, get along with the pattern will also affect the change of children's mood. Parents often quarrel, make divorce, easy to lead to children produce anxiety, inferiority, irritability, fear and other emotional problems.
One day, Guangdong 12355 Youth Comprehensive Service Platform (hereinafter referred to as "Guangdong 12355") received a phone call from Ms. Lu (pseudonym). Lin Churui, a psychological consultant at Guangdong 12355 who answered the call, recalled that Lu was emotional at the time, spoke quickly and occasionally sobbed. Lu said her 15-year-old son, surnamed Li (not his real name), could not accept that her marriage was in trouble and wanted his parents to get back together. Children repeatedly to grandparents interceded, in school can not calm down to learn, the whole person becomes particularly anxious, irritable, unable to concentrate. Later, due to the deterioration of his condition, Li could not continue to attend classes in school, so he was suspended from school. After the suspension, his condition got worse and he remained in a state of "lying flat".
According to the hospital diagnosis, Li was moderately depressed, but he refused to cooperate with the treatment. Ms. Lu made a lot of efforts and finally turned to Guangdong 12355, hoping that the platform would intervene to help the child.
After comprehensive evaluation, Guangdong 12355 assigned the work order to the municipal Youth League Committee to provide offline follow-up services and psychological counseling for Li.
"For 15-year-old Li, his parents' divorce was a big challenge. He has no place to tell his worries and afflictions. He has been repressing his emotions. He is particularly sensitive to things around him and is easy to feel irritable and irritated.
Lin Churui counseled Li's family from the perspective of parents and children.
"You feel a sense of grievance and worry about your children." Lin said he understood Lu's feelings: "You did not feel depressed in the face of difficulties, but dealt with them positively. You are an example for children to learn from. But a parent's mood has a big impact on the child, and if you spend all day complaining in front of the child and criticizing your partner, the child will soak up the atmosphere." Lin said.
"It's important for children to understand that there is more than one choice in life." Lin said that Lu should tell the child that it is not only mom and dad who can be happy together. Instead of staying together and fighting all day long, it may be better for the child to get along and interact amicably after the divorce. At the same time, Lu has to convince her son that his parents' love for him will not diminish because of divorce.
Mr Lam advised Ms Loh to make good use of the school and social support system as well as her family support. Ask children to trust teachers and good classmates, friends care and support children, let children feel more beautiful life.
For Li, in addition to calming him down and guiding him to respect his parents' choices and see more possibilities, Lin also suggested that he help his parents do more housework or provide other support they need. This can help the child feel wanted and valued and improve his "lying flat" condition.
After more than seven months of follow-up counseling, Li gradually accepted the fact that his parents were going to divorce, and his depression and anxiety were relieved. He went back to school and his relationship with his mother went from strength to strength. Finally, Ms. Lu agreed to end the consultation with a satisfactory evaluation of "10 points".
Lai is not alone in experiencing emotional problems such as anxiety, anger and depression due to changes in family relationships. In the face of emotional problems, Lin Churui believes that we should first keep a positive attitude and cultivate a growth mindset; In the face of difficulties, setbacks, learn to see more possibilities. Second, learn to express your emotions. "A lot of people with smiling depression are depressed, but they always smile at others. Instead of letting go of their own emotions, they build up and spiral out of control." Lin said we can also help ourselves relax by talking to someone, reading, listening to music, getting in touch with nature and seeking help from professionals.
Emotional problems are not twee, nor weak, but a reflection of adolescent mental health. In the face of teenagers' emotional problems, Guangdong 12355 continues to make efforts to help teenagers overcome difficulties.
Since 2017, Guangdong 12355 has handled 5,058 offline cases, helped 24,500 young people repair family relations, and been included in Guangdong's ten practical matters concerning people's livelihood in 2023. In 2019, Guangdong 12355 entered the Guangdong Provincial Youth Help Psychology Section, a mobile government service platform created by the Guangdong Provincial government. Teenagers can seek help for emotional problems through online communication all day long. At the same time, a team of psychological counseling experts will be set up to provide one-to-one online services for teenagers through video.
In addition, with activities such as "youth self-protection", "college entrance examination decompression" and "the first lesson of the new term" as the starting point, Guangdong 12355 regularly organizes the "five Steps" activity 12355, organizing psychological counselors to enter the campus, rural areas, communities, enterprises and organs, taking the initiative to carry out mental health knowledge popularization for young people, providing psychological evaluation, psychological counseling and other services for young people. Through the new media matrix of the Guangdong Communist Youth League and other league members, it will publish content related to adolescent mental health, parent-child relationship and emotional counseling. Jointly with Nanfang Daily and Nanfang + app, the weekly column "In + peace of mind" is launched, and senior psychological consultants are invited to provide opinions and suggestions based on teenagers' high incidence of psychological problems.
